Rose Thorns
by Maeve Leonard
Summary: AU. After the War, Quatre is a teenage businessman, living happily with his fellow terrorists. However, when a strange woman enters his life...Quatre must decided. Trowa? Aina [Last Name]? hehe. Still not completed!
1. Default Chapter Title

This is my first fic. Ever. It was originally entitled "Quatres Confusion with his Sexual Identity" but I figured no one would read it if I called it that. Hehe. PG13 for minor cussing and yoai stuff. Yeah. I haven't even edited this fic so sorry if it completely sucks. ^_^ Oh yeah, a bit of OOC (or some might think, I dun though) and AU.   
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
The first thing I remembered about the morning was being awakened by his sweet kisses on my neck. It was a wake up call I was more than use to receiving. I smiled, but refused to open my eyes, continuing the game we played every morning. His fingers tickled my side, trying to get any sort of snicker out of me.   
"Wake up Quatre." He cooed in my ear. "You slept in again."  
"Bah!" I made some sort of incoherent noise and threw a pillow over my face. "I don't want to go to work today!" He laughed, and shifted his weight back to his side of the bed.   
"Without you providing for us, Quatre, we'll be out on the street." I smiled from beneath my pillow. It was true, the only jobs the guys ever got were random acts of terrorism, which doesn't usually pay well. I don't mind it though. I like having the guys around. Especially Trowa....  
I heard him untangle himself from the twisted sheets.   
"I'll take a shower first." He told me. "Because you use all the hot water." I pushed the pillow from my face to give him a mock glare but he was already in the bathroom before I could. Oh well...maybe next time. I looked over at the clock on my nightstand. 11:15. Crap, I really did over sleep. I had a meeting with the some stuffy German Business men in two hours and, as Trowa said, I take long showers. I considered maybe skipping a shower, but in all honestly, I can't stand being unclean. Even as a boy! But...then again.... I never really had much time to be a boy, with the life style I led.   
I yawned once more, shaking the sleepiness from my head and finally got myself out of bed. I than began to make Trowa and my bed, tucking in all the sheets, arranging the pillows just so...  
I don't really remember how long it's been since Trowa and I began sleeping together. Whoa, wait. I didn't mean it like that! I meant, sleeping together as in the same bed. Trowa and I haven't made that other step yet. I don't know if we ever will. It doesn't matter; I just like to be close to my Trowa. That's how it ended up like this, the two of us sharing a bed. Just one night, the two of us stayed up together, talking, laughing like we usually do. It got into the late hours and we just fell asleep! It's been like that ever since.  
Conveniently, just as I finish with my chore, Trowa is out of the shower. Fully dressed, wet bangs falling over his eyes. I wrinkled my nose.  
"I don't understand how you do it..." I mumble, as I push by him into the bathroom. He laughs quietly, about as much of a laugh as you can get out of the guy. He's quiet, but that's okay with me! I know how he feels just by looking into his warm green eyes and believe me, that's about the warmest thing about him, personality wise. He, Heero, and Wu Fei some of the coldest people I've met but I guess it comes with the job description. Without Duo, this house would be like a freezer.  
----  
The warm water washed my sleepiness away and I was almost ready to start my day. Lets see.... 1:15ish, meeting with the Germen men, after that I have to go shopping for the guys...crap. I hope they made a list.   
The bathroom door swung open, a blast of cold air finding a way to sneak behind the clouded glass and chilled my bare body. I shuddered.   
"Hey Q!" Duo called. I could see his misty figure from behind the glass. Although he most likely couldn't see me, my modesty got the better of me and I grabbed the towel that was draped over the side and wrapped it around myself (real smart on my part since the shower was still running).  
"Christ!" I mumbled. "Duo, what on earth are you doing?"   
"Trowa sent me," He explained. "He said you better get out soon or else you'll be late for your meeting." I pushed the door open enough so I could poke my head out.  
"What time is it?!" I demanded. The American rolled his sleeve up and peered at his watch.   
"12:20."   
"Crap!" I slammed the door shut. "Tell him I'll be right down, I have to get the soap out of my hair." Duo chuckled.   
"'righty Q, I'll deliver the message." And he was out and, in true Duo fashion, leaving the door open behind him.   
----  
"Master Quatre," Rashid greeted me with. "The Sandrock is ready, whenever you are." I looked up at him from behind my wet bangs. (Allah, If my sisters find me in such a disarray before a meeting I'm a dead man!)   
"Thanks Rashid." I say with a smile. I look over to see the Manguanacs putting the final touches to Sandrock. I sigh.  
"Rashid, you guys really don't have to do this every morning." Rashid just gave me one of those fatherly smiles. You know, the ones where they don't say anything because they think they don't have too? My father use to give me that look all the time. Now its just Rashid and Trowa.   
I climbed into the pilot seat and waited for the rest of the Manguanacs to scramble out of the way. With cheerful waves, they set me off for another day at the office. I find myself with another smile. I'm so lucky to be loved by so many.  
----  
"I'm glad that's over..." I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair. The meeting went well, but we weren't expecting anything else. Trade is open; no more tension between the two companies.... whatever else they said. My job is simply to keep the peace; at least that's what it feels like. It's hard to be a 17-year-old businessman.   
Sandrock was in its usually place I kept it in the back behind all the trees. It's sort of like my own exclusive parking lot.   
As I clamored up to the pilot seat, I was, as usual, going through the rest of my day. What else did I have to do? Oh yeah, shopping. Trowa was kind enough to give me the list before I left. Lesse.... eggs...flour.... chocolate chips...hmm...is Relena making cookies?  
"Murderer!" Someone shrieked from outside of Sandrock. I looked up from the crinkled up piece of paper to the open door.   
"Who the...?" Whoever it was swung through the open door, pushing me hard against the seat of Sandrock. Cold steel was pressed against my neck, warm breath against my cheek.   
"Murderer..." She repeated in a growl, her hateful glare ripping into my soul. I didn't know what too say. Something in my heart told me she wasn't an enemy.  
I guess she didn't want me to say anything, because before she did any more to harm me, she moved in close to my face, and pressed her warm lips against mine in... What I think was.... a kiss. I wasn't sure because this wasn't like how Trowa kissed me (I know I know. But I really have never been kissed by anyone but Trowa!). Although this kiss was laced with anger it was...gentler...sweeter...kind of like the ones that are written about in my sisters romance novels (not that I've ever taken the time to read one of those...). It wasn't meant to be of course, I got that as soon as she pushed the knife higher to my neck, close enough to draw a good amount of blood. She leaned back and gave me a crazed grin.   
"It's like kissing a rose, don't you think?"  
(Huh?)  
"I...don't understand." I stammer. She sneered.  
"Of course you don't, murderer." I furrowed my brows.   
"What? I didn't murder you." She stared at me for a moment, long and hard, as if trying to figure out if I were serious or not. Then she did something quite unexpected...she laughed. Laughed hard. I mean, I thought I would hear her ribs crack! She let the knife fall from my neck while she wiped bitter tears from her eyes. Jesus Christ! This girl is nuts! I mean, its one thing to come bursting in here with a knife to my neck calling me names, she probably has good reason. But to sit in front of the one you're suppose to be killing and laughing too his face?! That's just weird.   
I started to reach for the pistol Heero instructed me always to keep in Sandrock, but she must have seen me, because in one quick motion the knife was back to my neck, the glare finding its way back onto her face.  
"Nice try, Blondie." She said. "I came here for a reason and I'm not about to pass this it up now."   
"Why...?" I asked slowly, afraid of anything that might startle her.   
"'Why?'" She snorted. "It shouldn't surprise me you don't know why." I didn't say anything. She moved the tip of the knife to the middle of my neck, and playfully spun it around her fingers.  
"Quatre Raberba Winner..." She sang my name like a little canary; at least that's what it reminded me. It was cute, I thought. Yeah, I know there was a knife to my neck, but I couldn't help myself! No ones ever sang my name before!  
"Quatre Raberba Winner," She repeated, "also known as Gundam Pilot 04 by military officials, right?" I didn't respond. She snickered. "Your silence speaks." (What's the deal with the riddles?) Just as quickly as the smile came, once more the anger spread across her face like a Venetian mask. She gripped the hilt of the knife, her knuckles turning an ugly yellow colour. "You killed the ones you were suppose to protect, Gundam Pilot 04..." She growled. She didn't mean....  
"The...colony?" She brought her free hand up and grabbed hold of my chin roughly.  
"Bingo!" She cheered. "Guess you're not as dumb as you look." She threw me backward against the chair again. She looked away from me for a moment, lost in a far away memory, the knife untangling themselves from her fine fingers, clattering to the ground. This time I didn't reach for my gun...   
"My whole family was on that colony...friends...family...all murdered." She looked back at me, renewed. No more the psycho who had first charged at me but a child. A lost lonely child just trying to find where she belongs. I knew how that felt. I bet I looked the same way when my father was killed, maybe even when I was under the influence of the Zero system. "Didn't you hear them, Gundam?" She asked me, tears starting to fill her eyes. "Didn't you hear them cry?" Her chin started to shake as she fought to keep herself from sobbing. "I did. I heard them."  
I didn't know what too say...what could I say? My usual escape was an apology, but what good did that do me now? I killed her family. Hell, I killed her! She's probably wasted her life trying to find me, readying herself to kill me. And she had every right too. Every right to take that knife and run me though. She was right. I was a murderer. All the apologies in the world won't changed the fact that I, Quatre Raberba Winner, am a cold, blooded killer, damned by our God to an eternity in the pits of hell.   
"Why...?" She whispered. "Why Gundam Pilot? You were supposed to be protecting the Colonies!" The tears fell freely from their prison now, streaming down her pink cheeks down her chin. "What did they do too you?! Why!?" She threw herself at me, beating her fists into my chest. "Why?! Why?! Why?!" Her body was defeated by her uncontrollable sobs, and she collapsed onto me, clinging to my blood stained shirt, weeping on me. My own tears started to form, and I could do no more for her, or myself, than to hold her our grief.   
-----  
"This doesn't change anything Gundam," She said as I brought the tea to the table. "I'm still going to kill you."   
"I know." I said, setting the teacup in front of her. "I'm sorry, but would you mind not calling me 'Gundam' in a public place?" I looked around Starbucks cafe warily. "You don't know whose about." She didn't answer me, so I took it as a yes. I sat down in front of her and opened one of the creamers the kind waitress gave me.  
"May I be so forward as to ask your name?" I asked, watching the milk cloud my tea.   
"Why should I tell you?" She replied harshly. I shrugged and sipped the tea.   
"Fair enough." I set the teacup back on the dish and held out my hand. "I'm Quatre Raberba Winner," And than I laughed. "But of course you already knew that, didn't you?" She looked at my outstretched hand like it was covered in dirt or something. I didn't really expect her to take it, so I once again shrugged and put attention back on my tea, quietly taking note of the girl.   
She was 17 or 18, just around my age. Short brown hair with deep brown eyes too matches. The colour in her eyes reminded me a lot of chocolate, with little bits of caramel that made her eyes even more beautiful than they already were. But sad. They had a haunting shadow over them, which if you looked close enough made you want to cry. You can see the tears locked behind her gaze that she refuses to let anyone see. I'm probably one of the few who have seen the Lady cry. I'm probably the only one who has ever had the misfortune to make her cry...  
Dressed simply, and rather sloppily. A white shirt with various stains from Allah knows how long, and a loose fitted pair of gray pants, much the same as the shirt. She was a kind person, I could tell that. She wasn't the sort of person who seemed to be into the assassination business. Than again, neither do I. Funny how things work out for people...  
I also noticed the finer details. Dirt beneath the fingers nails meant travel, dark circles under the eyes meant sleepless nights, the way she continuously licked her pale lips meant nervousness (it didn't take a genius to figure out why), and the way the tapped her foot against the floor meant she was anxious. For what? To kill me?  
"Aina." I heard her whipser. I looked up.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Aina!" She repeated harshly. "Thats my name. Aina (last name)." I smiled.  
"Thats pretty." I said. She rolled her eyes.   
"Yeah, thanks." She went to look away from me again, but something seemed to hold her. Her brown eyes appeared to be stuck to me and although I didn't question it, it did make me sort of uneasy. The only other person who gave me that look was Trowa. You know, that look of 'There's something about you that I have to figure out. What is it about you, Quatre? What is it I don't understand about you?'  
Well...maybe you never got that look. But I get it plenty from Trowa. And I never saw anyone else use it like this. And it was making me angry.  
"What??" I snapped. She looked startled, which I didn't blame her for. I was startled too. I don't get angry very easily, especially not from looks. (And I get a lot of different looks from people.) She suddenly got very flustered  
"N..nothing. I was just...I mean...it was..." I sighed. Now I felt bad.   
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled. "I have no right to yell." She shook her head.  
"No, its not that." She said. "I was just..wondering something stupid."   
I stayed silent, expecting her to explain. Maybe she wanted too, because she did open her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it before the words escaped. She shook her head once more with more force.  
"I have to get the hell out of here." She reached into her pocket and slammed money hard on the table.  
"Don't think this changes anything between us, Gundam." She growled. "I will kill you." I nodded and took a quick sip of the tea.  
"I look forward to seeing you around, Aina."  
----  
I went home with a sick feeling in my stomach. A feeling of incompleteness...if thats even a word. I came through the door, put the groceries where they belong and immediatly went to the music hall. I needed to get her out of my head, because I think she's the one who was making me feel this way. Everything about her...too her eyes, ("Hehe! Sort of remind me of a Goldren Retriever!..wait..thats not very nice of me to say..") the way she spoke ("..'I will kill you..' hm..sounds like Heero.) the way her hands curled so awquwardly ((eeck!)) around her coffee mug ("..like she were yearning for someone elses hands in there, but could only find her own. Wow...she had beautiful pianist hands..") too the way she kissed me...("Nothing like how Trowa kissed")........  
Ugh, I had to get her out of there. I sat down on the piano bench, rolled up my sleeves, and started playing. What I don't know, I was simply making something up off the top of my head.   
I always grew up with music, since I was a little boy. No matter where I've gone, I've always had a flute, violin, or piano as my escape from all this bloodshed. I think the piano is my favourite, although I may not be the best at it. Its the only thing where I can play and let my personal feelings come out. I never play for anyone, unless of course they come in to listen. When I was a boy, Rashid and my father always pressured me to write down my songs, but I never would. I couldn't! I couldn't imagine someone else playing my songs! They would get it all wrong! They couldn't possibly have the emotion I had when composing it. My father and Rashid just thought I was lazy, and I let them think that. It was none of their buisness anyway. The music was for me, and for me only. Atleast most of the time...  
I heard the quiet footsteps of shoe on slate coming toward me. I didn't look up from the piano keys. I knew who it was already. If it were Heero or Wu Fei, they would have listened from the door way until I was done or until they got bored.. If it were Duo, it'd be a lot less...quiet. It was no one else, but Trowa Barton.  
So not to disturb me, he sat down next to me on the piano bench. From the corner of my eye, I peered at him as he watched with great interestest as my fingers fluttered down the keys. Finally he spoke...  
"The tune is sad today, Quatre." He said, strangely. Sort of like a statement, but really a question...if that makes any sence. Trowa was such a sneak when it came to conversation. I don't know how he does it, but he always gets me talking. Well, I saw past his tricks today.  
I nonchalantly shrugged and continued playing.  
"Not intentional." I said cooly. He leaned closer to me, and kissed my ear lobe. Although I would have rathered he didn't do this now, when I was having a personal moment with just me and my music, I didn't fight him. I just continued playing as usual, barely paying him any mind.  
His kisses moved down my face, like cool rain drops. He brought his hand to my cheek, careful not to distrub my playing, and gently massaged it. Still, I paid no mind to him. So he let his fingers trace the edges of my face, to the middle of my chin...to the middle of my neck. He paused, and pulled away from me suddenly.  
"Whats this?" He asked, keeping his fingers on the bandage that covered the wound Aina gave me. My playing stopped for a moment. Ach, I figured he'd find it.   
"Nothing." I replied mysteriously, starting up from where I left off ("Seems like a nice place for a creshndo, huh?"). He glared at me from behind his bangs.  
"Quatre..." He pressed, like I he was my father or something. ("Why does everyone want to be my father, suddenly?")  
"I fell." I then answered.  
"Where?" He came back with.  
"Grocery shopping. On one of the shelves. I slipped." We were quiet, the only thing between us was me and my music. So I kept my eyes glued to the keys. As much as Trowa was annoying me right now, I hated lying to him. But I didn't want to tell him about Aina. I didn't want to tell him about how I killed her family and how I'm damned to hell because of it. I don't want to tell him how we went out for coffee, and how she had the sweetest brown eyes I've ever seen on a girl. I didn't want to try and explain the strange shadow that followed her, that kept her from opening up to me. And I certainly didn't want to tell him about was wondeful her kiss was, and how deep down, something in me wanted to kiss her back. Was it him? I don't know and I don't care. Because it hurt to think about these things. And right now I didn't want to do anything, but play my music.  
Trowas hand fell gently on my shoulder, probably scared as I beat my anger into the ivory keys.  
"Its okay Quatre." He whispered. "You don't have to tell me." I frowned. I made him feel bad. I had no right to make Trowa feel bad. I loved Trowa, I really did. I don't know why I felt this way, but it really was ripping me apart. The tearing hurt so much, that I nearly cried right there and then. But I didn't. I just took my hands off the piano for a moment, and turned to look into those shinning green eyes I fell in love with the first time I saw him. Like two, beautiful emeralds, gleaming and sparkling just for me! Because I never saw them like that when he looked at anyone else.   
I loved Trowa. I did. So I don't know why I did what I did...  
I leaned forward, and I barely kissed his lips at first. Just sort of a tease. But something forced me to do something strange. I kissed him harder. Hard but gentle. Forcefully, but with enough leway that I could recieve something from him. I was tyring to kiss him like Aina kissed me. That sweet, honey-dew of a kiss that, although it was poisoned with hatred, sent shivers down my spine to think of it. The good kind, like when I think about Trowa. Maybe I was trying to recapture Aina in Trowa, I don't know. It was all so strange to me, but I had to try. I had too.  
When I pulled away, Trowa had the weirdest look on his face. He put his fingers to his lips as he stared dumbly at me.  
"That was...interesting." I looked away quickly. Damn, what was I thinking?   
"I'm sorry Trowa, I just had to see if..." See if what? I don't know. What was I trying to do? "I'm just sorry." I somehow felt him smile, and he leaned forward to kissed the top of my head.  
"Its alright, Quatre. I understand." And with that, he stood and walked out of the music hall.   
Trowa...understands? How can he understands? He has no idea! No idea what so ever!  
"Oh Trowa..."  
---  
I didn't sleep well after that night. For the first time since Trowa and I started sharing a bed, I felt suffocated. I wanted out. All the things I use to love about my Trowa now drove me insane. Like when we slept, his arm was always drapped over me, holding me like a child would a toy. Or when we sit down to tea, how he kisses me in mid sentance. Although I don't know which is worse, when I'm talking and he interupts me like that, or when I'm talking and he answers with only 3 words.Allah, I hated that. Why didn't I ever relize it before? My relationship with Trowa wasn't the same, and I was afraid it might never be again.  



	2. Default Chapter Title

~*Me again. I was happy with the reviews so I posted the next part. Still not edited so excuse my massive typos. I don't have time to fix them. ^_^*~  
  
"Quatre!!!" I looked at whoever was calling me from the mirror in front of me. My elder sister, Iria, was standing behind me, her hands planted on her hips. She was already dressed (a pretty red thing, covered in beads held up by two strings and ended above her knee) and she was glaring at me. I smiled as I struggled with the bow tie.  
"What is it, Ir'a?" She pointed to the clock on the far wall.   
"We have to be there in 10 minutes and Mr. Maxwell and Mr. Yuy aren't dressed yet!" I laughed.  
"They'll be there, Iria." I consoled. "They just like to be an edge on things." Iria stomped over, pushed my hands away and started to knot my own tie with better sucess then I was having.  
"Well I don't want to much of an edge..." She mumbled. "The Winners can't be late for their own party." I rolled my eyes.  
"I know, I know." I sighed. "Whats this for again?"  
"Its a fund raiser, dearest. Haven't you written your speech yet?" I looked away.  
"Oh, of course I have." She slapped my arm.  
"Quatre! You're almost as bad as Mr. Maxwell!" I cracked a smile. She was right, the more I hang out with Duo, the more of his personality rubs off on me. For better or for worse.  
"Don't worry about a thing." I said reassuringly. "I just tell them what they want to hear and everything will be just fine." She looked me over critically, her face scrunching up as she tried to find imperfections. Finding none, she relaxed and looked up at me.   
"Look at my lil brother, all grown up." The blood started for my cheeks.  
"Aw, Ir'a." I protested. She snickered.   
"I know, I know. You're getting to big for this." She gave me one last look over, then started pushing me toward the door."Now c'mon, we have to get those two slakers moving."  
  
Its been about a month since I've seen Aina and although I don't think about her as much as I did before, her presence is always with me. She's made an impression on me, but what kind I don't know. I've changed. Trowa and I have changed. We don't have the same relationship we had before, the kisses and the laughing. I'm lucky if we share two words together over tea.   
  
Tonight is the Winner Enterprises Annual Fund Raiser. I don't know why we have them annually, we have enough money as it is. But the old buisness men always tell me "Can't wait for the next Fund Raiser!" I think they're just kissing my butt, but I don't want to disappoint. My sisters were all excited, buying pretty dresses, finding dates. I think its cute, watching them fuss like they do. My sisters really are kind people.   
~~~  
"Looking good, Q!" Duo said, hitting me hard on the arm. I winced, looking away from my full glass of champaign. He really had to get a new greeting.  
"You don't look so bad yourself, Duo."   
"How long do we have to stay here?" Wu Fei asked in his usual anxious tone. I shrugged.  
"You don't have to stay, if you don't want to Wu Fei."  
"We'll stay till the end, Quatre." Heero said in that emotionless, military tone, shooting a glare to Wu Fei. "There's no point in leaving now." Wu Fei made a sort of grunt and looked away from Heero. I chuckled. Wu Fei and Heero were too much alike for words. Its really funny to walk in on those two alone. Arms folded, eyes squinted into glares....I don't know wheather they hate each other, or if they're best friends.   
Trowa was leaned against the wall, watching me with his cold green eyes. I tried hard not to sneer. Did he have to watch me all the time? It was like he was a constant babysitter, making sure I didn't dosomething stupid like stick my finger in an electrical socket or something. It was getting to the point where I couldn't stand Trowa Barton any longer, as cruel as that sounds. I just wanted him to stay away from me!  
"Heeey...." I heard Duo said, probably giving some lady the eye. "Who's that fox and why don't I have her name?"  
"She probably doesn't give her names out to pimps, Maxwell." Wu Fei snorted. I snickered. Ah Wu Fei...he really does have quite the sense of humour. As Duo tried to regain dignity by calling Wu Fei a couple of racial Chinese slurs (which I just don't feel comfortable saying) I went to see the female Duo was giving the eye.  
  
My champage glass crashed to the ground.   
  
"I'll be right back..." I mumbled and started after her, leaving my bewildered comrades behind me.   
  
Aina [last name]. No doubt about it. There was no mistaking those sad, brown eyes, or that stunned look on her face. How did she get here? Or better yet...why was she here? I thought it best not to startle her, so I hugged the wall, praying to God some buisnessmen didn't find me here.  
  
Aina was on edge. She was looking at each person suspiciously, like we could all read her mind. Maybe she was looking for me....I couldn't help but hope.   
It was hard to believe that this was the same person. The Aina I met was nothing but a scrubby, gutter girl, who probably stowed away on some space ship. This Aina was.....I can't even put it into words. She was...almost civil. She didn't look like the type to go up to strangers and jam pointy objects into their throats (although I don't know many who do...well...maybe Heero...). In fact, she looked absolutly stunning. She wore a black dress, held up by two straps on both shoulders. The dress cascaded down her curves like a midnight waterfall that I could have let my fingers soak in for hours. A brick coloured lip stick had stained her lips, so her wonderful grey eyes (...I thought they were brown...?) nearly blinded the whole room.   
  
I wanted to kiss her again. Right then. In front of all my collegues, in front of my sisters, in front of my fellow pilots...in front of Trowa. I probably would have too, if she hadn't started off again. I shook myself from my daze and made silent presute after her, keeping my eyes to the ground, praying I wouldn't be noticed by Aina or anyone else from work.   
  
She left the ballroom almost immediatly, down through the coils of knotted hallways. Where was she going? The crowds were slowly thinning out to merely a few lost drunks. Aina was so focused on her destination that she didn't even know I was following her. I would have found that semi-amusing, usually, since I'm the most left footed of the former Gundam-Pilots. The Perfect Soldier, I certainly am not.  
  
Finally, Aina turned her last corner. I stayed behind and peered at her with one eye. She was standing infront of the conservatory. The conservatory was located in the center of this building. It was basically just a place for people to go and meditate, or where lovers went to share a moment of privacy. It was like an indoor garden, but the ceiling was missing so you could gaze up at the stars at night. I had only been to it once, when the man gave me the grand tour when Iria and I were renting this place for the party.   
  
Aina looked once more over her shoulder, and entered the conservatory, with me close in toe. I caught the door before it closed behind her (Hey, I may have been clumsy but I am still one of the best spies Earth has to offer, right?) and watched warily from the crack. ...Once again my heart started to flutter....  
  
She was so beautiful by moonlight. The moonbeams carassed her body gently, holding that warmth which only _I_ saw in her close. I supressed an urge to burst through the door and hold her in my arms, instead, crouching down lower into the shadows.  
  
She looked around once, making sure no one was in there, then moved to one of the covered tables. She ran her hand over the cloth table cloth for a moment, drumming her painted nails uopon it in thought. Then, with a heavy sigh, she ripped the cloth off.  
  
I gasped.  
  
I'm not one for explosives, really. Thats Duos job. Pretty much, as the Gundam pilot, if I'm in trouble, the only explosives I need to worry about are the ones triggered by the shiny red button. But as I've stated I AM one of the best terrorists in all of space and I know when there are a lot of explosives. What Aina had hidden under there...was alot of explosives. From the looks of it, she could take out this whole building with only half of what she had stored there! What the hell was she doing with all those?!  
  
"What are you, nuts?!" I cried, bursting into the door. Aina immediantly pulled the knife from her purse and pointed it out at me. I threw palms up, so she could see I was unarmed.   
"Winner?!" She interjected. "What are you doing here?!"  
"What am I doing here?! I should be the one asking the questions!" She sneered and jabbed the knife out at me.  
"Winner...you best stay away from me. I'm blowing this place to holy hell and I'm taking BOTH of us with it!"  
"Why?" I asked, putting my hands down again. "Why would you do that?"  
"Why?" She scowffed. "Sweet revenge, beautiful Quatre. Sweet revenge!" I took a step forward, but had to hop back when she held the knife out further.  
"Aina...what do those people have to do with it?" She gripped the knife tighter...and her tiny chin quivered a bit as her tears fought there was forward. ("Oh Allah, I'm making her cry. Don't cry, Aina! Don't cry!")  
"You love them, Quatre." She choked out. "You love each and everyone one of them...family...lovers...aquaintances. You love them as I loved "them!""  
My heart fell to my feet. Of course...the colony.   
"But they're innocent, Aina!" I pressed. Tears were now falling down her face again, her lips had budded to a pink rose.  
"So was my family!!!" She screamed. The sobs took over her body again, as the memories of her family rushed back to her in one great sea. I felt it too. I felt the same joy she had when her father returned from long business trips. I smelled the memories of her mothers cookies. I heard the terrified screams as their bodies were being torn by bits of broken glass and stung with peices of their house. I knew what it was like to feel to helpless. To be watching this from afar, listening to these screams rip into my very soul. And I knew what it was like to hate...no..loath. I loathed the one who would do such a thing. The one who would be so cruel as to rip the very thing..the only thing...I have ever possibly loved. I longed to feel the mans blood run into my arms like a river, and laugh as it begins to grow cold and hard on my skin. I knew...and I understood. I felt it all. I knew what she wanted.   
"You're right you know..." I said, now staring off, smiling at the image of my body drenched in the blood of a killer. "He deserves to die. He deserves to suffer." I heard her speak to me then...far off and distant. Like she was 50 feet away from me.  
"...what....?" I turned to her stunned face, and smiled cruely.   
"Death to the killer, Aina." I stated as I started toward her. "I killed them." Her hand began to shake as she gripped the knife, now with less confidence than before. I took a step forward and she hopped back.  
"Don't come any closer!"   
"Do it, Aina. This is what you want!" ('This is what _we_ want!') Allah himself couldn't stop me now. My debt would be paid. Aina's revenge would be complete. I kept walking toward her. Her feet were frozen to the ground with fear. Her green eyes widened as I gripped tight onto her wrist. She cried out in pain, but out of pure terror she didn't drop the knife. I laughed once more, pulled her close to my body, and kissed her roughly on the lips. Did she kiss back? Who the hell cares? I don't think she did...I think she was too shooked to find my blood on her hands. Yes, my blood. My blood washing the filth of guilt from her hands. Thats right, Aina. Feel it. Feel it burn the dirt from your hands....  
She let go of the knife in stepped back. My body felt heavy...and I fell to my knees. The faces of those who I had killed were looking down at me, laughing. I laughed along with them, as Aina stood over me, crying her lungs out for help.  
-----  
  
-----  
"Good morning, little one." Was the first thing I heard when I finally came through. I forced my heavy eye lids open, and after they adjusted to the bright room, I looked over and saw Trowa, staring down at me with a sort of smile on his face. I could barely supress the smirk that spread across my face. For the first time in a good while, I was happy to see Trowa. I started to sit up, until 1,000 pointy needles began stabbing into my chest. Trowa was on his feet the second I cried out, and stretched me back out on the bed.  
"Careful..." He mumbled, stealing a chance to touch my cheek. "You've had it rough." I groaned a bit and tried to think back. I couldn't remember anything....what did I do? Self destruct and survive? Crossed Heero one to many times? Had another encounter with......  
Trowa caught me again before I made another attempt to sit up.  
"Where is---?" Trowa cut me off.  
"The girl? She's mostly fine." I blinked.   
"Is she here?" Trowa nodded.  
"Yeah. She and I have been taking turns watching over you. She's asleep right now." My body went numb. Aina was here. Right here. Watching over me while I slept. She was so close and I didn't even know it...  
"She okay?" I asked. Trowa nodded.  
"Yeah. A little shaken up but alright." We paused.   
"Do you...want to see her? I can wake her if you want." Trowa asked, for once breaking the silence. I looked up quickly. How did I respond to that? I mean, yes, I wanted to see her but did I want to see her when Trowa was around? What would he think? Would he know? Would he finally figure it out.....?  
I shook my head.  
"No, not if she's asleep." I answered dryly. He shrugged.  
"If she's still asleep, I won't wake her." Another strange pause. Then...a shakey nod.  
"Alright." I said weakly. He smiled some and nodded.  
"Fine then. I'll see you in a little bit, Quatre."   
I expected a kiss, or atleast an affectionate pat on the hand...or anything like that! But I got nothing. Barely even a smile! He just nodded, turned on heel, and was out the door. That hurt...a lot. How could Trowa be so insensitive? For the love of Allah, I'd been in a coma for a week! And he leaves so suddenly! Of all the....  
"Trowa said you wanted to see me?"  
...insentive...things...he....could.....  
"Uh, well, I, uhm...." An unfamilair lump rose in my throat, and I found it nearly impossible to swollow.   
  
_"Wait a second!" _My mind reminded me..._ "She tried to kill me!"  
  
_"What are you doing here?!" I found myself demanding, wincing slightly as I disturbed my wounds. She seemed to expect such harsh question though...because she didn't even flinch. She just nodded and took the seat where Trowa was.   
"I came to see if you were alright." She answered quite truthfully. "You gave me quite the scare."  
"I could say the same for you..." I replied slowly..."I mean...its not everyday someone goes out of their way to break into one of my parties to destroy all my friends and family...just because of my own sins...."  
"Its not everyday someone breaks up other peoples parties to destroy family and friends for any reason..." She replied coldly..letting the meaning sink in for itself.   
Ouch. I don't know what hurt more...the knife? Or that phrase? .....Probably the knife when I think about it but at that moment.....  
"I'm sorry." Was all I could say. "I have no words for you...no beautiful phrases for your sanity...no kind words to ease your nightmares..."  
"There's no need for that any more." She said bluntly. "I forgive you."   
I started at her for a few moments...trying to comprehend what she just said. Forgive? Me? The murder of her family? Somehow...this just didn't seem right. I mean, yes, sure, I did *want* to be forgiven....but wasn't there something I had to do to earn it? I'm almost sure crusifixion was one of those general cleansing methods one used to absolve themselves of their sins...."I'm sorry...I didn't quite catch that?"   
She sighed. "Quatre Raberba Winner...I forgive you. I understand the circumstances in which you were under....I understand you couldn't help what you did. My only problem is...I wonder if you can forgive me? After the way I behaved, that is." My mouth was going dry. Do jaws come with screws? Because I think mine were coming unhinged.  
"Err...well...of course, Aina! Of course I do...forgive you that is. Though, I must say I don't understand the change."  
"I don't want to become like you." She answered a lot quicker than I would have liked.   
"Not like....?"  
"I saw you there...the other night....when you took the knife from me..."  
I had to think on this a bit when she mentioned this. It was strange, really. I had forgotten most of the encounter at that time. True, I knew it was with Aina and I knew she was trying to take out everyone dear to me...but how it was stopped? I hadn't a clue.   
"Did I?" I asked rather stupidly. "Did I stop you?" I just as much assumed Heero or Wu Fei came upon her and I in a stuggle...I had no idea that---  
"Quatre...." She looked up at me with great wide blue eyes. Blue eyes. How very strange that her eyes change so suddenly? I know it wasn't just a trick of my own eyes...Ainas really did change so spiratically that there was no telling just who she might be next. It was like her mask, I suppose, the only way she knows how to hide herself. I...didn't understand at this time. Nor did I think it was the time to ask. "Quatre.." She repeated. "You're so full of hate."  
"Me?!" I blurted out. Now I've considered myself a lot of things....a murderer...insensitive....cruel...but never hateful. That was one thing I thought I had seperate from the rest of the pilots. I wouldn't hate. "I don't hate anyone!"   
"Thats not what I saw." She said. "I watched you Quatre...I saw the hatred in your eyes. You wanted blood. You wanted revenge. You....you wouldn't stop until you felt blood on your hands. Quatre...I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be like you..."  
I didn't understand. Blood? On my hands? I hated blood...I've always hated blood. I especially hated the feel of yet. And yet...and yet when she mentioned it....I looked down at my hands and noticed that they seemed almost...emaculate. Usually all I see is invisible dirt that caked on my hands. And today? Today...they were clean. Flawless. For the first time since I could remember, my hands were beautiful. And it scared me.   
"Aina I...."  
"Don't say anything Quatre!" She said shortly. "I know you don't understand. Trowa told me you wouldn't understand."   
"Trowa?" I said numbly...like this was the first time I had ever said the word. She nodded.  
"Yes. He said you wouldn't understand hate. But you would understand if I said I didn't want to be like you anymore. I don't want to hate anymore and....and this is my first step toward it."  
I felt sick. My insides were starting to churn inside of me and the little white dots were floating about my head. I wanted to vomit....but I hadn't eaten. Aina could see the distress on my face and she stood then....leaning me back into my pillow and kissing me gently on the forehead.  
"Sleep Master Winner." She breathed into my ear. "Sleep well. I won't leave you this morning, I promise. Tomorrow will bring a new beginning to us all."   
I closed my eyes then...falling almost instantly into a dreamless sleep.....  
  
~~~~  
  
Recovery took no time what so ever. Aina and Trowa were always the first to greet me in the morning and the last to speak to me before I went to bed. Yet never at the same time. They worked in shifts, you see. Ever the jester, Duo made a little time sheet to hang on my door so they wouldn't over lap each others designated times.   
I was, however, a little bit annoyed by the fact that Aina seemed to fit in so well with the rest of the gang. After all, she did try to kill them all and knowing Wu Fei...he wouldn't stand for such 'injustice' from a woman. I had asked Trowa about it one day as he wheeled me through the Hospital Courtyard during lunch time. He explained that, yes, he and the others knew Aina was the one who planted the explosives however they also knew that I wouldn't take a knife to the stomach for just anyone. "Duo was the one who found you..." Trowa explained. "He was getting bored and had a bit too much champagne for his own good. When he heard Aina cry for help he came stumbling in to find the pile of explosives and a dying, delirious, Quatre. Luckily, Wu Fei had also decided to wander away from the party and was trailing Mr. Maxwells footsteps. He was able to sort out the situation from the histarical Aina while the drunken Duo tended to you."  
"Wu Fei has a way with women, huh?" I had joked. "Who would have thought? But...how did you manage to keep the Authorities from catching her?" Trowa had look down at me with the faintest bit of a smile on his face.  
"Quatre...you underestimate us. We're only the best spies never known. A simple police contamination is nothing to us."   
We had laughed then...something he and I hadn't done in a while. I had missed that, I had to admit. But it seemed that everytime I found myself getting closer to Trowa...his "shift" was up...and Aina would come join me for dinner.  
"Hospital food is the pits." I'd say while poking the green jello with the plasticy film on it.  
"Yeah." She'd merely reply with. I'd peer up at her with a shy sort of smile.  
"You and Trowa must have great conversations." She'd shurg.  
"We don't talk that often."  
"Oh..." And then we'd sit in silence. And I'd love every minute of it...because all I could think of was how close I was too her. Pathetic, isn't it? I'd do my best to remind myself of this everytime I was around her, how pathetic I really was, but then that heavenly scent if hers would waft under my nose and I'd be sent into a daze that I wished never to return from.   
"Aina?" I'd then ask. "Why do you keep coming?"  
"Because you're here."  
And that would be the end of it until Trowas shift came up or I went to sleep. It was horrible to be in love with two people...and I didn't know what I loved more about the other one. I was torn, completely torn, but I didn't want to give it up. Any of it. I actually *liked* having the two around me...one to be in love with...one to be infactuated with. I wish I could have kept it this way, to induldge in my own selfish desire. But I knew...even then...I couldn't have it both ways.  
~~~~  
I was leaving now. I was strong enough to leave the hospital, which I was greatful for, because I had load and loads of paper work I had to do when I got home. Yes, it was very nice having Trowa and Aina around all the time, but responsibilites came first. My love life was a close second.   
I had just packed up the few things the boys were able to bring to me when I went in search of Aina and Trowa. I made sure to make them promise me that we'd leave the hospital together. None of this "shift" crap. I figured out, that the only way to sort through these problems was to get them both together and do a very heartless yet nesissary comparison. How awful I was those three months. Awful and insensitive.   



	3. Default Chapter Title

~*Eh, Maeve's in a slump. The last two fan fics she's written she's really not been happy with. This one is no different. Its short, because I hit a writers block. >.< Any ideas? I mean, I have the ending in my head...just..having a problem with making Quatre not so...wacky. Lemme know what you guys think! Er, yeah. Same rule applys. Ignore typos and they wont attack.*~  
  
~Disclaimer: Its not mine. Stop sending me money. ~  
  
  
  
The nurse told me they'd be in the guest bed room, where family usually stayed. Family...I couldn't help but smile when I heard that word. Indeed, these two were my family. They've already spent more time with me than most of my sisters combined! Well, when there's twenty-nine of you, its kind of hard to have a family gathering.   
  
I threw the duffle bag over my shoulder and walked down the steril hallways, whistling some merry little tune off the top of my head. I was in a strangely good mood, thinking about the upcoming taxi ride home. Aina, Trowa, and I all backed away like sardines in the back seat, smiling...laughing....  
  
"Trowa...I can't go on like this!" I froze in front of the door way. That was Aina, right? She sounded pretty upset. Go on like what?! I immediatly thought the worst. Her and Trowa...spending all that time together while I....I was in a coma. It was the most logical explination! However, I consider myself a pretty rational fellow, so before my eyes turned a jealous green, I knelt down to the ground and peaked in the door. Wow, how long ago was I doing this exact same thing to Aina? Once a criminal, always a criminal I guess.  
"We have too. For his sake." No doubt, that was Trowa. And he had about the same anxious tone in his voice Aina had.   
"For his sake..." She scoffed. "We're toying with the poor boy!"  
"He's toying with *us!*"   
  
My mouth went dry and I clung to the door frame to keep myself from falling inward. They knew. Allah, they *knew* I was plaything with them both! But why!? Why the hell didn't they do anything about it?!   
  
"..why do you let him?" Aina asked, her tone changing. "Why do you let him play this game with you?" Trowa was silent, which didn't suprise me. I bit down on my bottom lip and leaned in closer toward the light. Aina had a very good question. Why did Trowa put up with me? One minute, we're the most loving couple in the colony, than I refuse to talk to him. After that, he finds out I'm bouncing off him and this strange, crazy, woman who tried to kill us all with enough explosions to take out half of a colony....and he plays right into it! Even defends me! Trowa had better have a good excuse for my behavior, becasue I certaintly had none.  
  
"It's not his fault."   
  
So much for Trowas excuse.  
  
"He doesn't know what he's doing..." Trowa explained. "He doesn't know what it is to be loved by someone else. I'm the first...and only....to show Quatre any sort of physical love. The first one to love him not just for his good soul, but because I'm complete infatuated with him!"  
  
Wow.   
  
"Quatre is an innocent. He does't know the first thing about desire. Therefore, he doesn't know how to handle himself when he 'desires' someone else. He's never quite done it before. I don't doubt that Quatre loves me, but does he want me like I want him?" He took in a deep breath and exhaled heavily. "I was selfish...selfish for never letting him go beyond the world I showed him..."  
  
Trowa....loved me? That was the only thing I could really process right now. Trowa loved me. Trowa Barton loved me. Trowa Barton wanted me. Trowa Barton...  
  
"Trowa..." I heard Aina whisper. "You...you must really love him....if you're willing to give up your own happiness for him." I thought I heard Trowa laugh...quietly...barely audible.  
  
"Aina...being in love isn't about giving up your happiness for the other. Being in love is being able to share your happiness with them. Being able to laugh along with them, not just for their sake. But for yours."  
  
And thats when I cracked.   
  
"No..." I hissed. "No Trowa...don't say such things."   
  
  
They both perked up, mirroring each others stupid expressions. I didn't relize how loud I was, but I didn't care. I just didn't care anymore. Trowa was right. Loving someone is happiness and I was feeding off the of the conflict of it. I was enjoying the hatred, the jealousy, those awkward moments when they were foreced to 'share' me. And there was Trowa...wonderful Trowa...standing in the backround, watching me laugh like a lunatic next to the beautiful Aina. The beautiful, lovely Aina, who still found time to stay by my side...to find a place in her heart for me...after I had destroyed her one and only precious thing. While I bathed in happiness, they were drowning in misery. Misery...caused by me. I..was a horrible horrible person.   
  
"Quatre?" Aina said, making her way for the door. No...no she shouldn't come for me. She shouldn't speak my name. Not after all this. They shouldn't even look at me! Such a black heart! I lept to me feet before she could open the door and I ran...I just ran.  
  
~End 3  
  
  
  
  
  
  
---------  
Bonus Mini-Fic  
  
~*Maeve busily typing away when, quite randomly, a very large block falls on her head*~   
  
Maeve: Yowch! *a very paper thin Maeve peels out from the bottom of the massive cute and she looks up at it* What the hell is that?!  
  
Block: I am your writers block.  
  
Maeve: *has found a conviently placed bike pump and as placed it in her mouth. She's attempting to bring herself back* Mah blohk? Whah ah yew hewe?  
  
Block: Because I am here to make your life difficult.  
  
Maeve: *pokes at her limp left arm which doesn't seem to want to inflate* Well, gee, next time call before you come dropping in on me.  
  
Chibi-Duo: *drum solo!*  
  
Block: ...stick to writing bad fan fiction. Your stand up makes my ears bleed.  
  
Maeve: Ears bleed? You don't have ears. You're a big block!  
  
Block: And you got a big ass and no writing ability. Whats your point?  
  
Maeve: *river of tears stream down her face* Waaah!!! That was uncalled for!  
  
Chibi-Quatre: *toddles in from the kitchen and taps Maeve on the shoulder*  
  
Maeve: *sniff sniff* Whaaat?!   
  
Chibi-Quatre: Er, I just have a question Ms. Maeve.  
  
Maeve: *blows her nose like a little trumpet* What is it?  
  
Chibi-Quatre: Who do I get it on with? Aina or Trowa?  
  
Maeve: *face vaults and falls backward, her right leg twiching in the air. She's quick to regain composure and coughs into her hand* No one, Q-dawg. If you read my bio, I refuse to write Lemons. They make my cheeks turn red and than my parents start thinking I'm doing 'the pot.' And the last thing I need my parents thinking that I'm doing 'the pot.' I don't think you know what its life standing bare-ass naked in a bucket of cold water with a bible balanced on your head for 40 days and 40 nights.  
  
Chibi-Quatre: Whaaat?! No Lemon?! Why the hell did I sign up for this fic?!  
  
Maeve: Because the Foldgers here is better than sex?  
  
Chibi-Quatre: Oh yeah. Fair enough.   
  
Chibi-Duo: *From his Drum set* Psst! Maeve!  
  
Maeve: Whaaat?  
  
Chibi-Duo: Wha'cha gonna do about the big square in your house?  
  
*The Cube smiles...or so we assume. It just appears like it should be smiling about now*  
  
Chibi-Quatre: Yeah...its kinda...obnoxious.  
  
Maeve: Oh, I dunno. I hear its Hip to be a Square. *snickers*  
  
Block: *sweat drops*  
  
Chibi-Duo: That soo..does no deserve a drum solo.  
  
Chibi-Quatre: Ugh..you're lucky the coffee is good here.  
  
Maeve: Waah! Well fine! Mr. Cube doesn't leave until Maeve gets a good idea about how to get some form of resolution!  
  
Chibi Quatre: Do I get a Lemon?  
  
Maeve: NO!  
  
Chibi-Quatre: Half of one?  
  
Maeve: NO!  
  
Chibi-Quate: How about a lime?  
  
Maeve: NO--! *Thinks on this* Hmm..okay. Maybe a lime.  
  
Chibi-Quatre: Yay! *scurries off as only a Chibi can*  
  
Maeve: Phew...*looks toward her computer screen and looks completely helpless* Well? You guys heard my deliema. I have a big ass Cube unexpectedly dropping in--  
  
Chibi-Duo: You used that one already.  
  
Maeve: ---and it won't go away until I figure out a resolution. Ending is no problem but I can't get anywhere without you're help!  
  
Chibi-Duo: *pops in front of screen* Thats right folks! For a mere $999.99 you can to the one to save Maeve's day! Just send the money to the address below to 'Save Maeve's Fic!" and we'll send yo---  
  
Maeve: *fwaps Chibi Duo with randomly placed mallet* Away with ye! Yesh! *Chibi goes flying into the air and hits the wall with a very loud ***thud* ***Anywho...send in yer reviews and ideas! Prefurably for the actual story...not this stupid Mini-fic.  
  
Block: We'd rather pretend this sorry peice of shit doesn't exist.  
  
Chibi-Duo: *pops up again* Amen!  
  
Maeve: Thank you for your all your lovely reviews! They mean the world to me!  
  
Block: *mutters to Chibi Duo* Does always talk to her computer screen?  
  
Chibi Duo: *mumbling to the Block* Too much radiation from the screen...just humour her...  
  
~Fin  



End file.
